Posted on January 2, 2020 by

Whether I’m writing a blog, offering a workshop, or speaking to a client like you, I always ask: “What do you want?”

There are hundreds of articles, blogs, commentary, etc., on the internet about why New Year’s Resolutions are doomed to failure. I’m not going to get into that here, its easy enough for you to check it out if you’re interested.

Someone said to me a long time ago, “figures don’t lie, but liars’ figure!”

The figures show us by mid-February, approximately 90% of people who made New Year’s resolutions have “failed” or just plain given up.  Depressing, right?

You want to find out how to achieve your resolution, yes?    First, let’s stop calling it a New Year’s Resolution, let’s call it what it should be called, your goal.

Since you’re reading this, you may be looking for ways to achieve your goal(s), I can offer you a few ideas on how to do so, successfully.   If you “resolve” to do it right, to follow through, to dedicate yourself to this goal, you will not fail.

First, what are your strengths, your natural talents?   Write them down.  Next, do you have a willingness to accept support (coaching), listen to new or alternate ideas, to process your ideas with someone who’s professional goal is to support you to success.   Are you willing to hold yourself accountable for whatever work is necessary to set a plan, objectives, time and effort?  Are you ready to be successful?

It’s irrelevant if you’re goal is career-related, marriage related, divorce-related, parenting related, or find the best way to manage a challenging transition…if you’re excited to get down to brass tact’s and start towards your success, keep reading!

Here’s the first secret, if you know what you want (or are convinced you do) if you find yourself doing something that does not support or launch you into that success, STOP IT, NOW.   What I’m saying is there may be a few things you’re unaware of (at this point) and may create obstacles preventing you from moving forward.  From getting “unstuck.”    You may be thinking, “oh, that’s not me…”  umm, yeah, it probably is.   Don’t worry, it happens to all of us!

Take a few moments and stop what you’re doing, sit quietly, review your day from the moment you opened your eyes to this very moment…anything?   Did you find it?  It may be something small and seemingly insignificant, yet it’s part of the larger self-defeating things that build up and prevent your success.

You’ve likely heard this before, and the reason you’ve heard it before is because it works…keep a daily journal.  Thoughts, behaviors, all of it that are in service or are sabotaging your journey towards your goal.  When you write things down, you are engaging different parts of the brain, you’ll be amazed at what will come out and onto that paper.  You’ll see it there, in writing, in front of you.  What you need to do more of, and what you may need to do to change.

Mindfulness.  Mindfulness is being aware of where you are, who you are and what you’re doing at any given point in time – in the here and now. Accepting, without judgment or blame, no “shoulding” all over yourself.  Awareness.   No yesterday, not tomorrow, not even three hours from now.  But right now.  If you do not manage your life here and now, how will you manage your future?

A great exercise for you to try and get yourself into the rhythm of living mindfully, plan out exactly what you will do the moment your feet hit the floor as you get out of bed in the morning.  Plan out exactly what you will do when you get up for the first 30 minutes.  It should only take you a moment or two.   Bathroom, coffee, take the dog for a short walk, shower, etc., any or all these things you take for granted each morning.   Think about it in detail, live in that moment without considering what will happen 30 minutes later.

Whatever it is you do, should be, (in some way) related to your achieving your goal.   Even small daily living tasks will be in service to your goal, and until now, you were not aware of it.

Unless you are living in this moment, the here and now, you will be unable to achieve your goal, and, unfortunately, you will become part of the 90%.

How will you use this moment?   Considering what you will do when your feet touch the floor is the only way you will get to where you want to go.   These are basics.  Becoming aware, developing some insight is part of success.   Don’t worry about yesterday.  Three hours from now is impossible to predict.   Live your life in the moment you’re in.   Its that simple, and that complicated.

It is also important to note that all goals should be measurable.  If they are not, well, then how will you know when you get there? Measurement is clear and convincing evidence of your success, and you want to savor every moment, don’t you?

As experienced Life Coach[1] I can help you develop your goals, support you while you follow through and measure your success.

Mindfully, planning, organizing, breaking the goal into manageable parts and celebrating the success of each part.   Calling on your strengths to find solutions and a clear way to leadership and success.

Those are a few of my “secrets” to being part of the 10%.   Feel free to share with the 90% if you know any, why not spread the positive and kick the negative to the curb!

This new year, this new decade is not about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself, your successful self.  


By: Janice Della Badia, LCSW

Life/Transformational Coach/Psychotherapist

Randolph, NJ




[1] Especially one who has uses positive outcome techniques of strengths-based, solution focused, mindfulness, and other positive coaching techniques.